Ok so today was darn tiring I don't know why . You know something I'm so afraid to face you . I feel so bad still . Made you torture yourself , cause of my selfishness I only cared about my feelings all . But not yours . That's why I had to just do anything to not face you . But the problem is I want to see you . I guess everything was just not meant to be . Again . This time round I've learnt my lesson . Love just can't be forced . Can't be tamed . People might just be your closest in the next second the one who you thought you knew but turn out to be someone you didn't know . I'm confused still . Why aren't we friends . You said you wanted to be as close as before it's impossible now . I just can't take this anymore . I have to let go . If not I'll be suffering and you'll be enjoying your life with someone else . I thought you'll never leave me I guess I was wrong . Really wrong . Hmm just saw your hand with her name . Lol you guys are getting tgt again huh ? I guess last long . I will still be there for you . But it's just , if you want me to . Hmm I guess I'll end this here . This flashbacks came back and it's killing me I guess I have to sleep . Good night peeps . <3

Families getting so much better and things I hope will get better soon . Those bottled wishes , I hope they'll just stay in the bottle , and one day when it's the right time , the wishes will be fulfilled !

Labels: Turn up the love .

So it's been so long since I blogged . Hmm I watch bones today .

It said humans were actually born with four legs four arms and two faces . Zeus was threaten to split us into half . So we have to spend our whole lives to find the other half . I just can't stand it . When everything ends up like this . I know you might not be the one . But I guess I don't deserve you . You're so perfect . You deserved a better girl . You're someone I thought I'll never loved . But in the end I did . I didn't expect to meet a guy like you . I guess everything is over even our friendship . From strangers to strangers again . I love blogging I really hope this blog will be active . I'll start blogging more often . (: Hey boy , I'm happy I met you . I happy that I know that you once loved me . I'm happy that we were once so happy together . I'm happy that we share some happy memories together . It might not be happy to you . But it's happy enough for me . You left me . You've got her now if I'm not wrong . I don't expect us to be Like the last time anymore . I just want us to be friends again . Just start afresh. . Like the last time , instead this time round I'm the one who likes you , and you're the one who doesn't care . I really want things to start afresh . If you want to ask me how important are you deeply in my heart you weigh a zillion pounds . And the more you walk away from me . The more I'm suffering the more I'm in torture . But it's alright I deserve this . I deserve faking a smile everyday , cause I made you suffer before the other time letting you see me loving your best friend and wanting you to act like nothing is happening . I took you for granted I regret . But you're someone I really don't want to lose . You're someone , really someone special to me . I wished I didn't exist . So you will have one lesser person to hate . I'm happy when I see you smile . I'm happy really happy when I see you're happy even though I'm not the reason for it anymore . I love you . I really do .


I guess that's my love life . Now my family is getting better . I guess I'll just end it right here . Bye .

Labels: Ends here .

Fuck . Nice word to start this blogpost . Stupid mum , i stay at home the whole day dont even want to fucking talk to me . Sua next time go out sua fuck one sia . Zz didnt really had any fun or good days at all . In china i made some new friends but stilvthere were moments when i felt like shit . Felt so fucking unwanted . An thoight that i shouldn't even have went for the trip . But after the trip i was closer with christine . She is a very nice person to talk to i swear . Haha ! She's so cute somemore . Cant my life be better sometimes . Explained almost everything to him last night . Have to keep a distant and i have to stop caring about him so much too . Sometimes this problems should really leave me alone . Blogging really is another way to get my mind off things and just speak about everything , cause i have no one to talk to . And i have no one who cares . I give up being a nice person . Everything would end up like shit even after everything . Nice start bad ending . Thats how every friendship of mine ends . Fuck this . Gonna end this blog here . And yeah , i hope me and him could still text . He is so fun to talk too . But no high hopes . Gonna give up soon . Ohyah and fuck you bitch . You gave me so much problems .

Labels: Why cant things get any better .

Aww hi babes and assholes ! Im back to blogging (: aww . This few days were quite fun . But there were somedays which was kinda fucked up . I guess . At least i guess it turned better after a few days . He told me he was okay with me . And i told arnold about everything i felt like those few days . So relieved . Thank him alot ah . Today went out with eugene . Met him in the morning . His earhole infection . T.T see liao also pain sia . Ouchouch . My second left earhole still ok . Luckylucky . Hmm . I really hope i can change you know . Everything is so different now . Every body is looking at me in a different way . Really different way . I miss the old us . The old everyone . I miss my old self . Ah fuck this . Kay im done right here . Bye .

Labels: I miss you .

Ok . This few days were disastrous , the last time i blogged was a few days ago . Ok yesterday i stayed up late to wish him happy birthday in every way i could . But before 12 rc called me and told me someone wanted to be the first to wish him . But i was thinking i'll send after few secs after 12 . So i waited than i sent . I know i wasnt the first though. But at least i made an effort to text you line you , path and twitter ohh yah and called you . And yeaterday i was fucking drunk . Drink and i didnt know what i was doing . I feel damn bad . But ah it's just one day i guess . Today morning i text you . At first the convo was going well .until when i guess she started texting you . She was more entertaining than i was . So our conversation turned to shit. Nevermind than i know you're happier with her . I told you i didnt like you . I made you let go . Yet why do i fucking care so much . Idontknow . You have her . Yet i have no one . No one could be there for me like you . Once . I miss it . I know it's impossible cause when she comes in , everything of ours becomes sour . I must admit i miss those memories . Even though every night our conversation would end up like shit . I miss those silly retarded conversations we had though . I just couldnt lose you . Not now . I finally open up to you trust you all in the end i lost you like nowww . Shit lah . Thigs always happens at wrong timing . I miss you . But i know that we're different now . The old you wouldnt be back . I know it . I know you wont read this blog anymore . So im posting this thing here . My blog has been dead like forever . So noone knows this . But yeah i hope this feeling of emptiness would just go away soon . Really soon . I lost not only a text buddy , soon bestfriends good friends than friends than strangers . Want bet ?! Fuck lah . All i know is to hurt someone and fucking let them leave me . Once i did that to my brothers than my family than now you . I lost my brothers almost lost my family and now you . I had lost enough friends i have lost enough important stuffs and people in life . Just not you ok ? Ahh forget about it you wouldnt come back . So sad right now . But in the end it's all my fault afterall . I guess tomorrow i'll just enjoy myself by drinking everything off me . I can't take it anymore . I wantto get drunk . Tomorrow just have fun . And im done . I just want to fucking die . You know what i need now is a friend and trusted friend to talk to you know . I fucking cant take it anymore . I want to burst out in tears you know. You said you wanted a memorable kiss on your birthday . Actually i wanted to but thinking of her make me hold it back . Please God bless me for once more .

I miss my dad . I havent seen him for five months . I miss him . Alot . At least when he's back i dont only have my mum . I have my dad at home too . I'll make and effort to stay home more . And not get out of my house . Every one have their dad at home . Why cant mine be at home . Im lack of daddy love . Hmm . I guess i'll just end this here . If you see this . I guess just think that im alright and fucking ignore this bitch . Bitch as in me . Im an asshole i agree . Kk ending this here bye .

Labels: Lost everything .

Hey (: i know there's like only one person reading this blog but yeah its alright . Ok so this morning i got scolded by hitler for laughing at lim's face . Damn and i had to stand in the middle of the class . Dafuq . Than he aim me with my results. I improved already ok ! Than chemistry lesson i was darn dizzy and had a major headache . I dont know whats wrong with me . Hmm . Than after that physics teacher had a chitchat session with us . She's damn awesome alrights . Than recess than two more lessons . Than afterschool learn the line dance than taught the others . Mrs wendy low was funny but yet she threw my earsticks away again . Fuck irritating know ! Ah stupid ass teacher . Fuck my life im darn tired rght now . Yet still blogging . I didnt see him today ._. Hmm . Lol . Expect less disappointments lesser to . I shall end this post right here . Im so gonna sleep soon . (:

Eugene leong : hi ! Lol ! Im bored . You this ungentlemen gentlemen . Haha ! Kbye .

Labels: What could possibly be wrong .

Ok . Tired . Exams are over . I passed all subjects except , humanities and amath ): damn . I could have worked harder for humanities . Feel like doing a cover with mikael , payphone - maroon 5 . It'll be so damn cool . But i swear there'll be loads of dislikes if i really post it . Exams over , party time . But not in the party mood yet . This few days seems like a few weeks so many things have happened . Oh yah , one last thing fuck promises . I think now's the time i should concentrate on my studies , and put relationships aside . But afterall . I'll be having a camp next monday to wednesday . Swear i'll be god damn tired . I really hope this time it would be really fun though . I miss my ex-classmates alot . Haha ! Oh yah one last thing , to those friends who didnt really get the grades they wanted to have . I'll pray hard for you the next ca ! God bless you guys . (: cheer up ! There's nothing big about failing though i have been failing all my way thru sec three till now (: CHEER UP GUYS ! <3

Labels: One more fucking love song i'll be sick .